Oh.
They wrote literal nonsense.
Okay.
Anyway, this has been a pretty boring week so far.
Kris! Stop that!
They can be such a gremlin sometimes...
"Look, mom! I'm EVIL! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
If they are evil, then they are the cutest most evil thing that ever existed.
Eileen wants to help me with a little piece I have been tweaking for...
I think as long as Kris has been alive? Maybe?
I forgot what I first called it.
It is like this metal song, I have lyrics for it, I think, I did work on an in-universe band that made the song.
I do not know if it fits, but honestly, any genre could fit into this project.
"Mommy, didn't you know that Waterloo isch a town in Belgi-"
Yes, I did know that it is a town in Belgium, Kris.
Maybe I should stop playing ABBA so much around them, they have been obsessing over that song for weeks! It would drive me mad if I did not love them so much.
But if I did not love them so much, I would not be me, now would I?
Going to see one of Eileen's friends later, I will bring the gremlin along.
His name is...Randy? I think?
"You think? I've told you his name like 10 times now, moron!"
Oh.
Oh dear.
Great. another reason for people to assume us scousers are invalids.
I cannot believe that it has been like what, 6 years since I left and it is still the same news over and over again...
"It's probably because the Northwest was turned to utter shite by that one bitch."
Susie is usually a poetic person. She is right on the money with this one.
Meh. The bickering of fools does not concern me.I am here to talk about...
Oh yeah!
Randy...
"He's from like Montana or whatever other cowboy place they have around here."
Montana? Who the hell lives there?
"Randys, I'd gather."
Hm.
He has a son named Ash, I hope he and Kris will get along.
I do not know how old he is, but...
"Hey, mommy, look over there!"
They threw a football at me...
Very clever...
"You gave it...THAT riff?"
Yeah, I did.
It is a good riff.
Might fit it into something, but I do not know what.
"Maybe we should make a section with this song in it, that would be really cool."
I would love to, if I knew which section that would be!
I do not even know what bloody chapter I am putting this in!
4!? 5!? 3!?
Probably 3.
"Are you two talking about the guy who schings about the underwear and tanktopschs again?"
...?
I swear, they will be the death of me...
Anyway, song name is "Raise Up Your Bat"...
I do not think it is a bad tune, not at all
I just do not know where to put it.
It sounds like something Dessie would like.
"MOMMY! LOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm Ian Rusch!"
...
Words cannot describe my love.
Only actions can.
Alright, we are back from the "Raidens".
What kind of last name is Raiden anyway? Konami would have a field day with that one...
Kris and Ash seemed to get along.
Kris decided to rap to him.
"I ain't no joke, I used to let the mic schmoke Now I schlam it when I'm done and make schure it's broke"
WHERE DID THEY HEAR THAT ONE!?
"Where'd you think, dumbass? You can't have them listen to Gabi Shoshan and Pearl Jam forever!"
At least I know Britain's bad rap reputation can change...
Anyway, this Randy fellow seemed to get along well with me.
That was until I heard what his wife was named
"Tobias"
"What?"
"Tobias. Her name's Tobias."
"Why?"
"Was her dad an idiot or was her mom born with an ass for a head?"
"EILEEN!"
"Hah, you're a funny one, Susie."
"Her parents were idiots, that's her words, I think, I don't know, she barely talks about them now."
"And why is she named Tobias?"
"Her parents wanted a boy so badly, they named all of their kids male names before they even had one."
"Lemme guess..."
"All of their kids are daughters?"
"Yup, all of them. Her older sister's name is Joshua for Christ's sake."
"Hah, for Christ's sake..."
That was a funny conversation, but then I thought to myself:
"What if I name a character in my game a traditionally feminine name or masculine name, but they won't have any sex or gender at all?"
...
Then I realized that was already a character.
And I thought out loud.
"Elly, you moron, Kris exists!"
"Why wouldn't they exist, Bonnie?"
Gosh, I am so stupid sometimes...
Anyway, that hangout lasted until about...
What hour is it?
OH!
5 PM, right about now.
It got worse though.
"You know, Tobias would make a great helper for me and my game!"
"You have a game?"
"...nevermind."
Why do I always mention it!? I swear, I cannot go one conversation with a new person without mentioning the game to them!
"Can you sching a schong for me, mommy?"
Hell yeah, I can!
"Pssst, sing them something scary, see if they're a sissy like you."
I AM NOT A SISSY!!!!!!!!!!
Oh I know what will scare them!
...
"Mommy, that wasch amazing! But, isn't the Angel of Death like that one goat guy you keep drawing?"
NO! NO IT IS NOT THAT ONE! BAD KRIS! BAD! GO TO YOUR ROOM!
I did not actually do that to them.
But LORD are they not scared at all.
"I heard about that one before too! He wasch evil man! Very EVIL! Not like me, I am only EVIL when I want to be!"
I am glad to hear that, gremlin...
and Kris are playing Super Mario Kart.
Those horns...
I have never seen someone more adorable before in my life, and that includes Eileen, Rose and that one dachshund Rafi had.
"Haha, you cannot beat me!"
Do not doubt me, my child.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO FAIR! YOU USED A SCHORTCUT!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"
In unrelated news, apparently, Pensacola has some issues.
I wonder who even lives there...
Was anyone even born there?
Probably, maybe today, maybe tomorrow.
Maybe next week.
I am teaching Kris how to play "Pollyanna" on the piano.
"Do it like thisch, mommy?"
No, like this...
"OH! Let me try!"
I hope, once they are a little bit older, I can get them to play the guitar.
At their age, I was already playing it, but I never knew any songs until I was about...
4? 5? 6?
Anyway...
"Mommy! Sching it with me!"
Awwwwww
They love that song so much...
"Wait, who isch the blue bird in that song?"
Oh, he's an EPIC GAMER! He has the world record in Dragon Blazers Any%!
He only got it because his friend helped him.
I wonder who she could be.
It is pie time!
"I think I like it fine, scho far..."
You THINK? Is that why the plate was empty while I was not looking!?
My LORD!
Anyway, I think it is time, I take my regularly scheduled nap.
"Can I join you, mommy?"
Of course you can. Little gremlin, how could anyone hate you?
"Look at the twerp and the reindeer, cuddling it out."
"...can I also join?"
Three's a company!
What hour is it now?
10 PM?
Ok then, let me see what is on the telly...
Oh, it is Happy Days.
Never liked that show.
"This show is rubbish, innit?"
Yeah, very.
How about we watch something like...
"BLACKADDER!"
"Isch that one the one with Mischter Bean?"
"HELL YEAH!"
Oh!
The start of a new day is imminent.
That does mean this entry is over though...